I realized about halfway though my very solitary processes as an artist that i
I really can be my own worst enemy.
The procrastinations, the self-criticism, the ridiculous and never ending distractions….those are all the ones I taught myself to identify over the years. but the big lesson I learned was that I held a very specific expectation of what my art needed to look like, and I would attach myself very firmly to the outcome of me obtaining that exact perfect image with what I had on hand.
So, Wow! way to set myself up for disappointment and a sense of perfectionism I may never acheive..! haha, it was truly eye opening to become conscious of that self sabotage I created for myself!
This was in my youngest art making years when I thought a decade of schooling and the right set of luck would set me on a very easy and successful career learning about art..
it took me years of art practice and self exploration to develop a style and a confidence in my own work, and meditation as well as conscious compassionate thoughts for my work were what helped me through my barriers.
There will be times I will feel the need to loosen up in my studio practices so some deep breaths, some passionately focused presence, and letting the intuitive flow are the guides I follow.
With it can come some really new experiments, a new technique or even a new series idea…so the investment to me is huge.
the flow grows, and it layers together into a whole new story.
as we are guided by our passions and follow our deep desires to do what we love to do the most, the lessons we learn within that, always seem to trickle into the rest of our lives…. and isn’t that what it’s about?
life is art.